Random Anime Reference

I was reading this book called Shark Girl. It's an awesome book. ANyway, It's about this girl who gets her arm bitten off by a shark. It's actually really depressing. My favorite part is at the end when Xxx xxxxx xxx xxxxx xx xxx xxxx xx xxxx xxxxxxxx "xxxx xx X xxxx'x xxx xxxxxxxx xx xxx xxxx?". . . Can't give away the ending >:)

Anyway, when the girl is all depressed because she has to have a fake arm that she can't move, I was like "Why not just get auto mail?"

Those who have watch Full Metal Alchemist will know what the heck I'm talking about :)

Lily
--
"Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?" -Brittany S. Peirce

Lily
--
I'm having a whale of a time!

Random. . .

This is my random post. Here's some random pictures:

 So True

 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 Browsers fight!

WANT GLEE NAILS!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 

Cute little bear!!

 I've been to the dark side. They lied about the cookies.

 Best. Ending. Ever.

 Most epicus HP nails EVER!!

 Cause I am :)

One look at the shmexy face and I am positive I will donate to Starkid :)

I love coffee art!!

Cute little kitty!

REACH!

I Love Love

Marge has big hair.

 Awwwwwwwwwwww...

 Agreed!

 FIND them at Walgreens.

 SHELDON!

So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.
They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells "Oh my God, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy cow, a talking muffin!"

There's that Holy cow!

Lily
--
"No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy" -Henry Kissenger

Chance

Chance is my cat. She has a Facebook page. You all should check it out.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chance/210304669016532

Lily
--
"I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary."

Sexism

There are a few boys at my school that get on my nerves a LOT. Whenever they do something and I call them on it, they're always like "If you weren't a girl I'd..."

Boys are annoying.

There's all those theories that girls are small, delicate, feminine, etc. It's annoying. I know in this particular scenario, I should feel lucky to be a girl. Then I wouldn't get "..."ed. They don't even finish their sentences. Is that normal for a dude?

I probably shouldn't be thinking this, but what they say makes me want them to say "If we weren't in school..." It would make me really freaked out, but still. I'm not really sure where I'm going here... yeah, bye!

Lily
--
"First, God created man. Then he had a better idea."

Sleepovers

When friends sleepover, the point is you DON'T SLEEP. You stay up late and parents don't control your bedtime. It just makes me uncool to not be able to stay up as long as I want when I have a friend over for the night. Yes, we will go to be eventually, but we want to control when! It's just not fair!

Lily
--
*Instead of a signature quote, I'm going to tell you where I get a bunch of them: http://coolsig.com/*

Made-Up Words

 Below is a list of words I made up completely by myself. Yeah, I'm that cool. 8D

• Yuppies
• Epical
• Epicus (Lily-Latin for epic)
• Yayies
• Nopeies
• Boredness

I will think of more as my life goes on and on and on and on and on and...

Lily
--
"Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool."

Paragraph

    It was the last straw. You've had it. You run up to your room, and slam the door shut. With a sigh, you sit on the bed, running a hand over your tired face and through your ruffled hair. She never understood you, never saw what you wanted. For your birthday, if she ever remembered it, she would get you exactly the thing you didn't want. Whenever you tried to make a connection, she was always off in her own world, listening to the voices in her head. You knew there was something wrong with her after Dad died, but it wasn't until now that you realized you couldn't handle it. She needed help. With a deep breath, you realize what you need to do. You slowly open the door to your room and listen. Dimly, you can hear her raging in the kitchen. You creep down the hall until you get to the office. You open the door. It gives out the tiniest creak. Your heart catches in your throat. You tiptoe inside close the door behind you. You can feel your pulse beating uncontrollably in your wrists. You cross the room to the telephone. Trembling, you pick up the receiver and dial three numbers. You hear a click as the person on the other end picks up.
    "911, please state your emergency."

So what do you think?

Feedback Please!

They don’t like me. Why should they? What am I to them? I’m dirt, not the kind of dirt that is soft and warm and smells good, but the kind that it so laden with twigs and stones that when you put your hands in it, they come out scratched and bloody. No, even that would be to kind of them. I am the mosquito they just crushed between their two fingers. Nothing, I’m nothing. I wasn’t always hated. I once had a loving family that cared about me. That was until my father found out what my mother was, what I am.

“Witch,” they said, “Your mother’s a Witch.”

I didn’t believe them until my mother got sick. She was so sick and the physician said she should have died long ago, but she didn’t. That was when she told Father the truth about her, about me. She was a Witch. With my mother a Witch, and my father a human, that made me a Half-Blood. In our world, it is not a good thing to be a Half-Blood. Half-Bloods get shunned by each side of their family, Witch and Human. We were considered unlucky, like walking under a ladder. To humans, I was a black cat crossing their virtual road of life. 

That's the start of a story. I have a week to finish it. Should I? If so, what should happen?

HELP!

The local newspaper is having a contest for short fiction stories. I"m wondering if anyone has any ideas for a story that would be 1500 words or less, please either comment or email me them. I'd really appreciate it!

Lily
--
Puppy, puppy, puppy - A book?

How to Give a Cat a Pill

*Note: I didn't write this. I'm just sharing it with you all*

If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know how difficult it is.

The following instructions are fool proof!

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm
as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either
side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat
in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding
rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top
of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding
front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse
to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully
sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head
just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink
glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.  

10.Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force
mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot.
throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage.
Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed}
by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint
of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly
while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants
from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order
a new table.

15.  Arrange for SPCA to get psycho cat and call local pet shop to see

 if they have any hamsters.

Lily

--

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.